Everything starts healing by itself when I discard my mind’s first interpretation of what just hurt or worried me and catch myself (just in time!) to refrain from assuming the negative version that my mind just offered is ’the truth’.
The framing of what just happened is everything. My pessimistic or victim-led thinking, leaping in as a kind of immature and panicked self-protection, has sold itself as ‘real’ for so long I never used to question it, but I’ve learnt that on closer inspection, it’s the ‘meanings’ I add to ‘what just happened’, not so much the thing itself, that really hurts me, and nearly ALL of the time I am misinterpreting others’ intentions.
“That means they don’t love me.”
“That means they don’t respect me.”
“That means they don’t care about my feelings.”
“That means I’m worthless or a failure.”
“That means I’m unwelcome.”
None of it means that…
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Sally Francis 